As I’ve come to quickly realize throughout the recent years, writing consistently with increasingly busier schedules is impossible. I’m sure you can find a number of posts throughout my blog saying how long it’s been since my last post and that I need to make more time, etc. Instead of fighting it and feeling bad (which is a weird thing to feel bad about), I’m going to make peace with it and let it be what it has been … a blue moon sighting :).
How are you all?
It is the night before another new school year. I remember when I was still in school, I would be so excited I wouldn’t be able to fall asleep. Literally counting down the minutes until I would be able to see all my friends and favourite teachers again. I would save my newest and most favourite summer buy to wear for the first day of school. Hell, I’d go shopping just for a back to school outfit, with all new stationary and maybe even a fresh new haircut. Ya’ll feel me?
While I have not done much shopping at all this summer for clothes, stationary, or other gadgets, I did manage to find some time to fix the mess that was my hair. Still suffering the repercussions of being fried in the desert sun in Saudi. Getting there!
As I take in my last moments of calamity and sanity before another whirlwind of a year, it’s hard not to think about what a crazy ride this has been.
What initially was set out to be a 2-year adventure turned out to be 5 years and counting. Insane! The last few years have been nothing short of action-packed. There have been so many highs, including all the wonderful people I have met along the way, all the beautiful places in the world I’ve seen, and of course, many, many lows that come with it as well. Sitting here now though, I still know that it was all worth it.
Do I wish that some things could have been different? Absolutely. But we can’t have it all at once, unfortunately. If only! I’m at peace with it though (really, what other option do we have?) and have faith that the Man upstairs has some sort of plan for me. *Fingers crossed*
I saw a Tony Robbins video online a couple of days ago and got chills because of the timing of it. I don’t know about you, but I always feel as though things happen around me too coincidentally sometimes. Like someone knows how I’m feeling, what I’m thinking about or struggling with, then purposefully set up hints around to remind me of what I already know is true. I call these ‘God’s whispers’. We’ve all heard the message before, but it is one that can never be repeated too many times.
There have been many doubts in my mind the past couple of months about a lot of things – where I am at in life, if living overseas is still my best option, what I want, the next stop, etc. I think some of those doubts stem from fears. Fears that I would lose some important people in my life, fears that I am not there for my family when they need me, fears that I don’t know what I am doing with my life, and so on and so forth. Our brains are natural fear factories. Everything that can go wrong, we can put it into 1000 scenarios within seconds. The possibility of things actually going right though? Woah, now that’s just crazy talk.
As I take on more leadership roles this year at work, along with all my regular courses and Varsity teams, I feel a new rush of energy that I began to lose towards the end of last year. There are great people working with me and I feel challenged to do more in something that I genuinely care about.
Scared to death? Absolutely. After having experienced what it’s like to present in front of the full high school faculty, let alone make them participate in an activity they probably didn’t care to do … I think I will be okay for the rest of the year. Thankfully, my colleagues are extremely friendly and supportive, so I feel more at ease about the coming year. Fake it ’til you make it!
Moral of the story, if you are scared to do whatever it is that is in your heart to do, I hope you do it anyway. We can come up with a million and one excuses for why it might be scary or why we might fail, but we just need one good reason why it’s worth it to succeed for all of that to go away. The worst thing you can do is to be on your death bed and wonder, ‘what if’.
I hope you are all well and are crushing some major goals in your lives.
Whatever you are doing, I hope you are doing it with joy. I’m rooting for you all!
Peace and love xo